The divorce from my 3-year marriage will be final any day now. Mediation was two weeks ago. And yesterday I had a meeting with my financial adviser to understand in depth my new situation. I knew the assessment would be bad and I knew I was going to make shifts in my life, but today, after a restless night, the reality of the situation is sinking around how different my life must be. I have a To Do list in front of me with calls I need to make to banks, mortgage holders, realtors and recruiters. And I have lifestyle choices to make, such as staying in my home, renting out a room, getting another job, etc.
But the most important choice I have looming in front of me, is how to walk and process through this nightmare. Do I fall into victim, pointing fingers of blame at him, circumstances and myself? Or do I recognize this as what it is? It is a really sh***y thing (that I can be angry about) that I need to pick myself up from and figure out how it is going to be a gift in my life? Despite this crappy situation, how can I still have an Amazing Life?
If this divorce happened a year and a half ago, I would not have had the training and the self-work to challenge myself to react any other way. I would have fallen right into the place I was most comfortable, the victim. I would stay stuck there, like I did in the past. I would remain immersed in my self-pity swamp, handing my power over to all of those around me, and I would continue to attract the same challenges into my life repeatedly.
But thankfully, today, I have the awareness in my heart from being coached and coaching. I have absorbed the work and can listen to my voice of self-love and gratitude. And I will be damned if I hand my power over to anyone outside of myself, ever again! This is my battle cry! My dreams and goals for a fabulous life will not be stolen from me through a challenging situation. This situation is here for me. It is here for me to learn from, to push me, to be the catalyst of reclaiming the power and control of my life. Am I scared? Hell yeah. Am I angry? Immensely. But I also have faith. Faith that this isn’t here to crush me, but to stimulate me. To shove me out of the nest of my comfort zone, which will result in something amazing.
I have no idea what I am going to do with the lifestyle choices yet. But I do know that I will be measuring all choices up against the ultimate vision I have of my life! And in doing that, I will be taking baby steps toward a life that will be greater than I can even dream possible right now! That I believe! And that is the power of the work I did and am offering to my clients.
It might be scary as hell, but it’s time to try out my wings.
If you stay with me, here, I’ll continue to share my journey as it unfolds. And I’ll share honestly because I know that I am not alone in these types of struggles and sharing our pain and our victories stories with each other is how we can feel inspired to keep moving forward.